Saturday, November 15, 2008

Cutting my hair off

I'm about to cut all my hair off. My friend Andrea will do it for me. As a woman, I feel constantly observed; continually aware of the male gaze. Tonight, I cut my hair off, as a symbolic way of reclaiming the "actor" in me - not actor in the theatrical sense (although who knows what will come of this!), but in the sense of not being passive, but active. I refuse to be motivated by who is looking at me. I refuse to be driven by the desire to be 'captivating' or 'beautiful' or 'intriguing'. For those things are only from the perspective of the viewer. I want to live from MY perspective, not someone else's. I feel like I keep my hair long for someone else. Tonight I'm cutting it off.

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